Daisies remind me of spring

I woke up tired this morning. I know I slept well but I felt like going through the whole morning with a distracted mind and a heavy heart.

It could have been caused by a very hectic week, with several deadlines, other pending matters that had to remain pending. In short, those blessed "balls in the air".
And then I felt it again, that "ache", that unexplainable void within. I thought I have already passed that stage; but I guess it never passes. Life and its many circumstances will, at one time or another, make that "ache" resurface.
I prayed and I thought of good and beautiful things. One thing I've learned these past months is that it is God who helps me to survive and get through these moments. So my prayer nowadays is, "Lord, just give me enough strength and joy to live through the suffering".
People may think I am exaggerating when I call this "void" suffering. But, really, it is a suffering. I wouldn't wish anybody to go through it. It is already a suffering for me because I know, in my head, that it is something small compared with the great sufferings of many people in the world. Secondly, it can take away from me all zest for life and attention to the small joys that life brings.
It is here that I rely on the power of Jesus. I do not look at Him as a magician or an opium. Indeed, in all these months of my strong experience that led to this suffering, Jesus did not take it away. I have suffered, and still do sometimes, the pain of rejection, the boredom of routine, the fatigue of community life.
So where does Jesus enter in this story?
He gives meaning to this suffering. His life and His teaching tell me that after the cross there is the resurrection; that unless the seed falls down to the ground and dies it will not bear fruit.
He gives me strength to live through the moment with hope. Praying His Word and receiving Him in the Eucharist give me this strength. I know that He is with me. He is the friend that never fails.

After a few more tries at working in my office, I decided to go out and take a walk. I saw the field covered with daisies. Yes, it's still winter; the daisies reminded me of spring.
In the winter of my heart, Jesus assures me of springtime.