God builds a house for me

In the Second book of Samuel, when David thinks of building a house for the Ark of the Covenant, God tells him that it shouldn’t be so because, in fact, it is God who is building a house for David.

Such is our life. We plan, we think, we organize, and things may work well for a time. Then something happens and everything we have built crumbles. Behold, it is at this moment that God starts to build our house.

The irony of Christmas

The irony of this birthday celebration is that it is the celebrant who gives gifts. May we not forget this truth. The true gift of Christmas is Jesus and it is a gift that God freely gives to each one of us. May this truth be the foundation of our lives. In our moments of defeat, solitude and lack of purpose, may this truth be the streak of light that will guide us through the darkness.

Addio, Roma!

Tomorrow morning I am leaving Rome for good.
To all the people and friends I am leaving behind, thank you for having been a part of my life. Immense seas may separate us, different time zones and levels of technology may make communication difficult; but when we remember that the whole world is in God's hands, we can always reach out to each other in one big, warm embrace.
God blesses us always. May we be open to receive God's blessing in whatever form.
Please keep me in your prayers.

My conscience as tribunal

Jesus said that His followers will be led into synagogues and tribunals and answer for their belief in Him. Well, throughout history we have martyrs who have paid the price for their faith. They were led into synagogues and had to face tribunals.
But no less important is the tribunal of our conscience where we are constantly asked to give an account for what we believe in, and to make a choice. Do I think with the mind of Christ? Do I act out of love, which is Jesus' criterion? Is my speech coherent with what I believe in?
Our conscience is the tribunal that we can never escape.

Giving all

To give to people we love is not difficult. It may ask us to exert effort or to divest ourselves of something, but this giving has its own reward. We give to someone we love and that love itself is the reward.

When does giving really hurt? It is when we are asked to totally divest ourselves of any sensible reward: a love that is not reciprocated, total uncertainty and insecurity. But such is love.

Love calls for total giving. The less sensible compensation there is, the more we journey and  enter into the realm of pure love.

Not a stone upon a stone

While his disciples were looking with admiration and awe at the temple of Jerusalem, a magnificent work of art and the sign, par excellence, of their identity as God's chosen people, Jesus says that one day not a stone upon another stone will be left of it. And Jesus will be proven right, for, indeed, later on Jerusalem will be greatly destroyed, totally razed to the ground.
All of us have our own Jerusalems, our carefully and beautifully built lives that make us happy and give us security. And we almost always say a silent prayer, "please, Lord, let it stay this way!" Then something happens. It could be something big or small. Then we find our Jerusalem razed to the ground; our securities are taken away from us with force.
Then we go through a series of emotions: disbelief and shock ... despair ... anger ... loneliness ... skepticism ... resignation ... quiet surrender ... trust ... hope ... courage to rise and continue living ... Then we realize that "Jerusalem" is not a particular state of life where everything is perfect.
It is truly God who gives us our identity and security.

Just as I am

The Gospel yesterday is interesting. It is about the Saducees asking Jesus about the resurrection of the dead by proposing to Him the story of a woman who was given in marriage to seven men. At the resurrection of the dead, whose wife will she be?
I once read an interesting comment about this. The writer said that in heaven we will no longer be known by our related-ness to others. Our connection with people will remain, but our identity will not depend on them.
In this life our importance is great influenced by who we know, who we are related to. But the only "related-ness" that really matters is our being children of God.
The less concerned we are about feeling important by virtue of the people we know and who know us, the simpler life will be, the happier we are.

The gift of healing

Nope, it isn't true. Time doesn't heal all wounds, especially wounded relationships. Together with time is the other factor called "letting go" and it is translated in forgiving yourself and the other person.
And  being healed doesn't mean that things go back to where they were before. This is impossible.
Being healed means being able to pick up the phone, listen to that still familiar voice, and feel a quiet peace within.

The solitude of celibacy

The emotions of these past days have made me once again experience the solitude of celibacy.
The human person is truly created for union and communion. The human heart looks for this.
As I grow older, hopefully enriched by my experiences, more and more I come to realize that union and communion have nothing to do with clinging or possession.
At certain points of our life we have to let go of persons, events and memories. This would make us intensely feel solitude. We come face to face with our vulnerability; that, indeed, we are never self-sufficient.
The experience of solitude can either lead us to despair or skepticism; but it can also lead us to surrender to God.
The choice is up to us. Whatever our choice is, it will determine our life.

Daring to love

But I'd rather suffer these goodbyes than live a superficial life with no deep bonds with anybody. What a sad life. To refuse to love is to waste away and to slowly die.

Once again, on saying goodbye

Saying goodbye is always not easy. The deeper the connection is, the more difficult and heart-wrenching goodbye is.
But saying goodbye gives a certain depth to us because it enables us to appreciate the gifts that we have been given, even when we have to let them go. Saying goodbye reminds us that only God remains. When we have God we have everything.

Continuing the journey

There are certain experiences in life that leave a big mark. They make us lose our "innocence" and question the things we believe in. As I am writing this, I am reminding myself that when this happens I don't have a grasp of the whole picture. I am seeing things from my own perspective, using my own filters.
I don't want to judge people. I hope I am not judging people. I don't want this to be "us against them". I don't want this to be "my crusade" against a person or a group. Rather, I hope that God will transform me and grant me wisdom of heart so that I may see as God sees, and leave the judgment of people in God's hands. May I learn to judge a situation with the criteria of the Gospel, so that I may truly discern the right attitude and course of action. May God grant me unwavering hope.
May God help me to grow...
... in interior freedom so that I may be healed of my prejudices and my paralyses;
... in coherence of life between what is in my heart and what I say and do;
... in transparency because anything that is not done in truth is like a castle in the air that doesn't last;
... in going out of my comfort zones so that I may be able to give, especially to people who cannot or will not repay me, and to forgive again and again.

True failure

We fail in religious life not because our projects don't succeed.
We fail in religious life when we no longer see with faith God's various mediations.

Conversion

It is easy to criticize others for their abuse of power; but what about us when we treat others as subordinate to us? What do we do with our "powers", our capacity to influence, the esteem (and fear) others have towards us? Are we willing to give them up? Are we ready not to be needed and feel useful? How do we respond when others malign us or put the worst interpretation of who we are, and of what we say and do?
If we are truthful about it, there is in our hearts the desire for power, to have a certain edge over someone, no matter how small this edge might be. Acknowledging this is the first step to purification, to realize that corruption is not outside but within us, to see that conversion begins first of all in ourselves.

My part

I do not have complete power over the outcome of a situation but I have complete power over my attitude.

Pray at all times

To pray is to allow God to transform our being so that we may contemplate the world with God's eyes and love everything with God's own heart.

Happy rebirthday

Since 2010 I celebrate every 16th of October as my rebirthday.
Four years ago on this day I woke up in the morning with a great certainty in my heart that the time for weeping is over, that I have given due respect to my pain and from now on I can truly smile again.
God calls me. God has plans for me. God has a dream for me and that dream is to be unified in all the dimensions of my being. When I allow myself to fully enter into this adventure I will realize little by little that nothing happens by chance. No detail is insignificant. Even the darkest moments of my life have a place.
And everyday is a call and an invitation to this journey of transformation.
Happy rebirthday to me!!!

Rich

We are enriched not by what we keep but by what we give and what we receive as a gift.

Delete

I am not really big on collecting things because I know how difficult it is later on to properly dispose of them. But there are just certain things, letters and files that are hard to just dispose of. More than the monetary value, it is the sentimental value that I take into consideration. It's whether this thing makes me remember someone or something that often dictates to me whether this thing stays.
It's not good to be without an appreciation of the past. But that's it, we appreciate the past because it has shaped the person that we are today.
Today is the present moment. It should not be a vicarious living of the past.
God, give me the grace to know when to let go.

A big heart

I wanted to title this reflection "Envy" but it sounds so negative I had a change of heart.
One of the most common roots of unhappiness is envy. It closes the heart and narrows our vision. It isolates us from others because we see them as threats to our well-being. Envy makes us suspicious, it takes away our capacity for delight. Envy takes away our joy because we fail to see and to appreciate the gifts that we have; rather, we focus on what others have that we don't have which, according to us, is a cause of injustice with us as the victims.
Instead, a big heart enables us to see people and circumstances in a positive way. They are not perfect but they are trying their best.
A big heart enables us to be more merciful and less judgmental.
We become more grateful and more forgiving.
We are more willing to give people a chance, and that includes ourselves, too.

Class

Class is not a matter of wearing the right dress, of speaking a European language, of picking the right wine, of belonging to an exclusive club, of hobnobbing with the rich, the influential and the famous.
Class is a sparkle that comes from within that keeps one grounded. Class makes one comfortable with being pleasant with all and to all, not being blinded by fear or by any sense of superiority.

Tears

Tears heal.
They heal us of our false invincibility.
They heal us of our superficial calm.
They heal us of our pretenses.
They heal us of many illusions.
Tears clean us.
Tears clean our eyes.
Tears clean our bottled and pent up emotions.
Tears clean our hearts of rancor.
Tears cleanse our heart and soul.
Tears open us up to new beginnings.

Invisible to the eye

Life with God always calls us to transformation. We are always on a journey. We can never say that we "have arrived".
In this journey one thing that we commonly do is to make resolutions. We do it after our daily meditation, after a retreat, or after a deep experience. And this is not bad. But we shouldn't be content at this.
Jesus calls us to go deeper, to look at what we value the most, what it is that moves our thoughts, words and actions. Often this deeper motivation is hidden. It can even be sugar-coated or packaged in a way that we can no longer see it in its truth.
The spiritual journey is to see this truth - in its imperfection and its various contradictions. And this imperfection is okay. Jesus is merciful to the weak. It is the arrogance of the haughty that Jesus hates.

Take heed

Yesterday evening I had a huge shock. It was around nine in the evening and my brother and I were walking towards his office. I saw so many homeless people sleeping in the underpass, in the parks and everywhere else. I was really shocked. I never expected to see such a sight here in the Philippines.
I hope I don-t get over the shock. I hope sights such as this continue to question me. I hope I don't become dumb and indifferent as sights like this become commonplace.
Jesus said that we will always have the poor with us. May their presence be a call to conversion, to a gradual and radical conversion. God can build His Kingdom by Himself, but God engages us in this wonderful adventure.
May I take heed.

Personal transformation

My transformation is not my gift to God. My transformation is God's gift to me.

A strategy in life

In a situation when you feel fragile and susceptible, don't test your limits, don't touch "the forbidden fruit".
But remember that you cannot spend your whole life shielding yourself from pain.
It is not cowardice to hide. It is a temporary strategy to make you stronger to face the real challenge when it comes.

Joy

Joy is God's gift to those whose hearts rest in Him.

O heart, be still

O heart, be still in your God.
Persons, things, everything that is created is passing.
Why then do you give up grudgingly what, later on, you will have to give up?
Be happy when you cling to no one or to nothing,
because then both your hands can embrace Him, whose love alone endures.

Food for all and more

In the miraculous feeding of the multitude Jesus blesses, breaks and shares. He feeds everyone and still there is more.
Can't this be an invitation for us today so as to solve the various crises the world is faced with.
To bless, that is, to recognize once again the important and central part that God has in our lives.
To break, yes, to work our butts and redeem work not as an imposition but as an integral part of our human dignity.
To share and to recognize that it doesn't deprive us of anything when we do so, rather, sharing creates a network of care and communion that makes us worthy of being called human.

Transformation

Transformation is always from within. It is never painless because it asks you to leave what is familiar. It rocks the world you've always known.

Brave

I can be brave because I know Someone's got my back.

My own take on why Jesus chose to die on the cross

I really feel uncomfortable with the phrase "through the cross Jesus won pardon for our sins" because it seems to show a tyrannical God whose wrath has to be appeased in such a violent way.
Rather I'd like to believe that the cross shows to us the extent to which God loves us.
With Jesus assuming the lowest of conditions a human being can ever reach, the shameful death on the cross, God shows us that there is no sin that is unpardonable, that everything and all time are included in God's big embrace.

Not silver or gold, but Jesus

As a follower of Jesus, I do not pretend to have the solution to all the problems of the world. God does not give us a clear-cut perfect response and easy solutions to our problems and doubts. Come to think of it, if God does that, it would be a downright insult to us whom He has made in His image and likeness, hence, thinkers and creators like Him.
We are not puppets in the hands of a puppet master.
Instead, what Jesus gives us is perspective, a higher purpose, a greater scheme. He gives meaning to our lives, a meaning that surpasses what is sensible.
And this is the gift that we are called to share with others.

To believe is to see

To have faith is to see God in the most ordinary places and events. To have faith is to have a special connection with God that enables us to see Him in His many disguises, to go beyond our schemes or expectations of how God should be. When Mary Magdalene first saw Jesus after the resurrection, she didn't recognize him. She thought He was a gardener. But when He called her "Mary", she recognized the "Lord".

Brave women

Jesus' mother, Mary, Mary the wife of Clopas, Mary of Magdala, Veronica, the unnamed women of Jerusalem... Yes, these women will forever be honored whenever we commemorate the passion and death of Jesus.
In the midst of chaos, of the unthinking mob, of cowardice, of the perversion of truth, these women walked with Jesus and stayed with Him at the foot of the cross.
These brave women show that there is a spark of courage in the human spirit.
Even in the darkest moments of passion-gone-berserk, there is in each one of us the capacity to be compassionate in a suffering fellow human being.
It is the truest truth of who we are.

Insults

Resorting to insults is an admission that we have run out of reasonable arguments.

A mother's love

After God's, a mother's love is the most unconditional love.

Restored

When God forgives, He forgives all the way. There are no half-measures for God.
It is something so difficult for us to understand because our life is often conditioned by "ifs" and "buts". It is just so hard for us to believe that someone will forgive, full stop.
But deep within the heart of each one of us, it is something we long for. There is something in us that is both skeptical yet hopeful.
Life is full of highs and lows. Even the best of us have their bad days. We need something, we need Someone who will assure us that despite all these, life is worth living. There is always hope for us to be restored.

Our Father

This is a rephrase of something Cassian, an early church father, wrote: In the Our Father Jesus gives us a model of prayer and a way of life.

That which makes you suffer

That which makes you suffer can make you grow.
In last Thursday's Gospel Jesus clearly says that whoever wishes to follow Him must take up one's cross. Yes, not any cross but "the" cross that is ours.
One thing I know about the cross is that it makes us suffer. It doesn't give us a fuzzy, cozy, comfy feeling; so we'd rather say, "no, thanks."
Another thing I know about the cross is, we don't choose it. Otherwise, we could so easily change plans.
There are normal everyday crosses of life which are the little disturbances and inconveniences.
There are also the big crosses that sign a certain call to conversion. They don't come often. In fact, they come when we least expect them.
But in whatever form the cross comes, as a follower of Jesus, I am not to run away. it is my way, the only way to grow.
As St. Paul said, "the cross is the wisdom of God."

Personal

No decision of ours is ever "not personal", for every decision we make defines the person that we are.

Face your fears

Face your fears. Monsters thrive in the dark.

It's personal

No decision of ours is ever "not personal", for every decision we make defines the person that we are. We are not made in one day. Who we are is a slow evolution. Every step forward and backward form part of who we are, of our life story.
That is why no one can be perfect. We all make mistakes.
When we make mistakes we can  choose to regress by sticking to that mistake, or we can choose to stand up and make a difficult but courageous decision.
The rest of the factors may be overwhelmingly favorable or unfavorable, but ultimately the one to make the decision is you alone.

My choice

A lot of people think that I have given up so much when I chose the consecrated life. And these people have different reactions: regret, surprise, pity, admiration, disdain.
But giving up something in favor or something else is not really anything new. It is part of life. It is the necessary step to make in order to capture the meaning of this wonderful gift called life, give it form and configuration.
Happy feast of Consecrated life. Pray that despite our weaknesses and limitations, we may be a ray of God's goodness.

Journeying to the point of no return

Well, perhaps the title is a little bit exaggerated because God is that father of the prodigal son in Jesus' parable who opened wide his arms to embrace and welcome back his wayward child; the father who had the fattened calf, yes, that fattened calf reserved for "the" special occasion, to celebrate the homecoming of the one who brought shame to his house and family.
Anyway today's first reading about the prophet Nathan's denunciation of King David's multi-fold sin invited me to think about the dynamics of sin and, come to think of it yes, the dynamics of any addiction.
First, we put ourselves in a vulnerable position. It could be because of curiosity, a challenge, laziness, or plain stupidity.
Then we go to the next level. We try to know more, to try more. We often reason out, at this level, that there is really nothing wrong, that we shouldn't be prudish, that we have to grow up, that it is a sign of maturity.
The next step is what I call the "dance of the moth". Just like a moth attracted by the light of a burning candle, we make two steps forward and a step backward, and we remain hypnotized, we don't realize we are getting closer to burning ourselves.
The next step is facing the music. Yes, the time will come, whether we like it or not, that we have to face the consequences of this series of choices. The happier choice would be to recognize our mistakes and ask for help. But unfortunately for many, they choose another way, that of cleaning the facade and pretending that everything is well.
And as many of us have experienced, even the choice of turning our lives around is not very easy, because old habits die hard. So we realize that a higher power, God, and his mercy is always available, and we should be grateful for that. But we also need a good head on our shoulders that tells us when it is courageous to face the enemy head on, and when it is courageous to take a retreat.
And before I end, remember that the merciful Jesus himself said to the woman caught in adultery, "I too will not condemn you, go and sin no more". Okay, I think I've made my point clear.
We need to do our part to sin no more "and to avoid the near occasions of sin" as our traditional act of contrition says.

Holiness

To do the right thing, at the right time, and in the right place is not rigidity. It is discipline. It is responsibility.
But when we do it for love of God, well, that is holiness.

Following Jesus Christ

Saints are men and women who have accepted God in their lives and live or have lived their lives coherent to that choice. Saints are men and women who are just like you and me, of different temperaments, ages, contexts, interests. So it is understandable when we have preferences. After all, it is similar to having friends. We have preferences, some are just acquaintances, some are friends of the heart.
There is a risk that we pit saints against each other. We say that one is more powerful than the other, or that one is holier, or that one is more radical, etc.
What a pity if we get lost in this and forget what the saints really want to tell us: to choose God, to follow Jesus Christ.
So in honor of our founder's feast today, I say: "It is Jesus Christ I follow, according to the way of Don Bosco!"

Another Francis

I don't think I need to apologize if I write about this other Francis, Francis de Sales, for after all I am a Salesian. Today is his feast.
What I find most fascinating about Francis de Sales is his very positive vision of God and of the human person. No grandstanding, no threats of going to hell, no use of violent force for this pastor. As he said, "a spoonful of honey catches more flies than a barrel of vinegar".
I think Francis de Sales ought to be rediscovered by bishops, priests, and by all of us Christians as we try to live our lives in a way that is worthy of our name. Zeal is important, but it is not a zeal that divides the world between the good and the bad. It is not a passion that instils fear; rather it is a passion that draws, that attracts.
Francis de Sales reminds us that the way we can lead others to Jesus Christ is by us becoming more and more like Jesus Christ, the meek and humble of heart, who leaves everything to search out the lost, who doesn't break the bruised reed.

Laura's gift

Today is the feast of another adolescent saint, well technically not yet a canonized saint but she is already
on her way. Laura Vicuña was originally from Chile but she migrated with her mother and younger sister to Argentina. There she became a boarder-student at the school of the Daughters of Mary Help of Christians.
Hers was a short life so it is quite an invitation to take seriously my Christian faith. She found the reason for her life and she was faithful to it at the cost of her own life.
For today Laura's gift to me is the call to take my choices seriously. In a society where there is a seeming allergy to long-term decisions, where we always want to have our options open indefinitely, or where we always bail out of commitments by resorting to our so-called rights, this adolescent puts me to shame.

Meekness

Today is the feast of Saint Agnes, a Roman virgin and martyr who paid a high price for her faith. At thirteen years of age she was martyred. Of course it is so impressive to know that a girl of that age, an adolescent, made such a heroic gesture. But what is even more inspiring is that she showed meekness in the  face of persecution.
In a world such as ours, meekness is so much undervalued, nay, even despised. It is considered a sign of weakness. But in reality meekness is strength, for only the truly strong can repay evil with good, turn the other cheek, and assume on oneself violence so as to put a stop to this vicious cycle.
It would be helpful to remind ourselves and the world of the words of Pope Francis, "Do not be afraid of tenderness!".
Tenderness sets us apart from animals.
Tenderness shows that we are human beings.

Perspective

Sometimes the difference between problem and possibility is only a matter of perspective.

Speaking

Speaking ill of others is a sign of insecurity.

The fear factor

I don't like it when evangelizers try to make people accept God by using the fear factor. Indeed, I am turned off. They shouldn't even be called evangelizers. Evangelizers are supposed to be carriers of the good news, and anything that builds on fear or ignorance is never a carrier of anything good.
Jesus Christ invites, yet never forces anyone to accept His invitation. Really, look at the four Gospels and this is what we will see. So, in our zeal for evangelizing, let us not lose sight of this fundamental fact.
We are called to be bearers, proclaimers, announcers. The Good News that we bring is like a seed that we plant and it will bear fruit in its own time.
When? That is not for us to know.
How? Through the power of God. And, thank God for this, we are sure that God's simplest way is infinitely more effective than our craftly-planned tactics.

Giving

Giving always enriches the giver.

Finding the horse

I saw this on Facebook today. I didn't really want to do it immediately since I am not very good at this. But since it is the beginning of a new year, I just told myself to try something different.
So I tried to look for the horse and I found it!
I have learned some lessons:
First, it's necessary to change your perspective. I tried to look for the horse by looking directly at the photo and I didn't find it. When I moved to my left side and tried to look down, I found it.
Second, be open to other possibilities. When it said look for a horse, I was looking for a whole horse. But  the photo only has the horse's head.
So, thanks to this game I'm reminded of two of life's important lessons. And the third lesson is, don't stop learning.

Closure

There is closure when you no longer have the overwhelming desire to change the course of things.

The one among us whom we do not recognize

John the Baptist summarizes the people's response to God's epiphany in the person of Jesus: There is one among you whom you do not recognize.
John the Evangelist takes it even one step further: He came to his own and his own people did not accept him.
God comes to our world still, in many and varied ways. But often we cannot recognize God because we have our own expectations of how this God should be.
Perhaps we ought to remember that God, since he is God, totally defies our categories, boxes and boundaries.

Blue skies

When I opened my windows this morning I saw the blue skies, they were so beautiful, so close I wanted to reach out and touch the fluffy white clouds. Then I saw on the horizon the sun just rising, what a glorious red, no, it’s not really red. It’s like a whole palette of different shades of red. Then I just put my head outside the window … breathe in, breathe out, in, out, in, out … I felt the air filling my lungs and infusing energy into my body. All of these happened in the span of less than ten minutes, yet I felt as if time stood still. 

At the beginning of this new year, dear God, please give me eyes to see and ears to hear so as to appreciate that every moment is a gift. Open my eyes to see the colors of nature, ears to hear the music all around me, to experience your glory everywhere. Amen.