Balls in the air

These days there are so many "balls in the air", an expression that I use when I find myself faced with so many pending things. By nature, these things tend to make me nervous. I prefer to do things one at a time. I enjoy the feeling of knowing I have finished something, that I have, sort of, "closed one drawer", even if it is something small or barely significant.
The irony is, it is these days that I experience very strongly the power of Jesus Christ. I am witness to so many miracles, big and, most of the time, small in my everyday life. Before I go to bed, I leave everything in the hands of Jesus. When I cannot seem to solve or to finish something, I consciously ask Jesus to take over. After all, I am just His instrument.
And I experience peace and a bit of humour, as I come more and more to the realization that I am not at the center. I am not the saviour of the world. This realization does not make me lazy. Nay, it makes me grateful.
I can do something. God involves me in His work of salvation, it doesn't matter whether what I do is big or small, visible or hardly seen. What is important is the love that God gives me that permeates my whole being, enabling me to give love, albeit an imperfect one.
Yesterday I had a sophia experience. These days I have been working on a little reflection about how we can improve our evangelization in Asia. It wasn't an easy work. I had to spend time and accept the contribution of others in order to, sort of, bring my reflection to maturity. I am happy with what I was able to produce. My boss was very appreciative, too. But the reflection is quite long and it needs to be reduced and the Italian has to be corrected. For a while, I felt protective of my work. It was as if I did not want anybody to touch it because I have worked hard for it. It is my baby.
Then a line from the Litay of Humility came to my mind: That others may be seen and I set aside.
O Jesus, how totally and radically different are your ways from our ways, from our natural sentiments.
Then I realized that I do not need praise. Even if others do not recognize or may never know my work, I am not deprived of anything. Having done something good is a joy in itself. And the learnings and insights I've gained, no one can take them away from me.