Is it lawful? Is it kind?

In today's Gospel, we hear the same question we often ask ourselves when we are in a dilemma: "Is it lawful?".
Personally, I realize that I ask this question when something within me, an intuition, an inner voice, makes me doubt the course of action I am about to take. It is as if an affirmative response to the question would appease my doubt or the nagging feeling I have.
So much has been said against deciding on the basis of our feelings; that maturity means being able to make a logical decision. But I believe that it is important to listen to our feelings.
There is something raw, something sincere about our initial feelings. To listen to them is important in enabling us to own responsibility for our choices. Then we will not hide behind and take comfort in legalism or in being right.
The voice that comes from the core of our being is not self-centered or egoistic, because what is at the core of our being is something that unites us with the rest of humankind. And the only question that remains to be asked is, "Is it kind?"

At the end of the year

The end of anything is always a call to look back; looking back always provokes sentiments.
Today, as I look back at the year 2015, I feel amazed at how I manage to be serene despite the fact that so much has happened.
I also feel grateful because more and more I see that my life is really in God's hands. I have lost count of the times I have acted in a very positive way, when all the while I was ready with an angry retort. I know all the more that it is Christ living and acting in me.
Lastly, I feel in awe of God's mercy. I have so many limitations. There are many times I don't give to God what He deserves. But God is kind and merciful. God always leads me to a new beginning.

Create life

When we look at it with our own criteria, life is not fair. But the truth is, there is goodness, kindness, love and loyalty around us. When we don't see them, perhaps it is a call for us to create them for ourselves, for the people we love, for whoever crosses our path. For though life is a gift, life is also what we make it happen.

Our legacy

Let us sow peace and forgiveness, not hatred. Let us leave a legacy of kindness, forgiveness and joy. At the end of our life what will give us the greatest consolation is not how blameless we are but how much happiness we have spread.

Mean-ness

I am saddened whenever I hear or read a mean remark, and it is very alarming to see how it is growing in the social networks. Aside from their meanness, some comments are downright obscene and discriminatory.
Why?
Why do we mistake being "myself" or being sincere with being hurtful?
Why do we consider witty a comment that is downright insulting or rude?
Why do we call "hypocrites" people who try to think first and consider the consequences of their words before blurting them out?
Meanness never helps anybody. It just pollutes society with more anger and defensiveness. It is divisive. It doesn't foster sincere and caring relationships. It makes people downright snobbish or forever lacking in self-esteem.
Let us be kind.
If ever we have been a victim or a witness to meanness, let it stop with us.
Let us make this  courageous stand. Indeed it is courageous because it shows the greatness of our heart that doesn't indulge in pettiness.

Children of God

"Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly ... you will then be children of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked." Luke 6:27-28, 35

It is possible to think well of others, speak well of and to them, and do something good for them when I keep in mind that generosity is God's constant attitude. God doesn't treat me well because I treat Him well. His style is not tit-for-tat; rather, His is pure .gratuity.
It will help me well to remember and believe the truth that I am God's daughter. So I have it in me to be like God. I can be kind, forgiving, magnanimous.

It is okay to be kind

It is not the nationality, social class or level of education that determine the manners and character of a person. I saw one interview that said that it is the fault of adults that children do not have values and manners anymore; basic manners like respect, honesty, integrity, hardwork, self-discipline, concern for others.
Many adults are childish and they are guided only by one criterion: their own pleasure.
I think this is one of the root causes of the malaise in today's society. We don't care for principles, promises, vows, word of honor. As soon as a problem starts we already want out. There is so little resistance to pain and suffering because we were not trained in a life of discipline. Very few dream and struggle for a better future because we have everything, or we have things that keep us entertained, making us forget the more important and lasting things in life. Many young people's dream is either to be a singer or actress or a professional athlete because these are the easiest ways to fame and fortune.
So why do we blame children for acting without manners? Do we, adults, act with manners? Whenever I read comments on the web with the unmentionable and obscene expressions, I cringe at how much degradation we have arrived at. Do we need to hurl an invective or to say a swear word just to show that we are "in", that we are smart?
We want the easy and comfortable life where we are king and queen of the world. Sacrifice? It is one of the most unpopular words. Why sacrifice when we can have everything that we have; or why sacrifice when others can have what they want?
We need to regenerate society not from treaties between nations. They are often beautifully worded but lack spirit and dynamicity.
As adults, let us reclaim our role of communicating to the younger generations that the world is beautiful, and we  are privileged to contribute to make it truly so.
Let us not renounce this responsibility just because we want to remain popular, or we are tired, or we want an easy life, or we simply don't care. How can children know what is true, good and beautiful when our lives as adults do not show it to them?
Children learn from what they see, not from what they hear.

Why not start by remembering that "It is okay to be kind"? Start an act of kindness and see that you will spread sunshine all around.
Warning: don't wait for the result as you may not see them very visibly. But be sure that somewhere the little pebble that you have thrown on the pond is having its ripple effect.

Grateful

When our life isn't focused on vindicating our so-called rights, our eyes and our heart remain uncluttered and we are able to see that we are surrounded by so much kindness. Then we always find something to be grateful for.

Easter

The joy on our faces and in our gait, the gentleness in our speech and the hope with which we face even the biggest adversities: These are the best proofs that Jesus Christ is Risen!

Kind words

Kind words spring from a peaceful heart.

Kathleen's kindness

“Sometimes I think that I could have said something …” After she said these words, I felt a lump in my throat and a great feeling of gentleness in my heart. It is one of those very touching moments in my life when I felt overwhelmed with the love of someone. She has accompanied me as I journeyed through a long period of pain. With her words I suddenly had the intuition that this special person has really entered into my own pain.

It is not easy to be with persons who are undergoing a difficult period,especially that kind of pain that is within, that interior pain which one can never even share. What can you say? Is it necessary to say something? If the person says she doesn’t need you, do you take her words at face value? What if she has been hurting for a long time? What can you do to stop the hurting?

So it is that at that very moment, I felt overwhelmed by grace. Something good has come out of the long Calvary. It is the realization that patient love does exist.

She hasn’t solved my problem. She has made me discover the treasure that I have, that of being accompanied by a person who is willing to enter into my pain. At that low point when I have lost all of my self-esteem, somebody has taken time to stay with me. More than anything, this made me realize that I had value. Somebody was willing to waste her time on me.

We cannot live others’ lives for them. We can rejoice with their joys and cry with their sorrows; but each person has to go through life’s moments and experiences of solitude, in order to discover the meaning of life and of who we are.

Our patience, trust and faith are the best gifts we can offer each other as we go through the dark, believing that there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Light

I woke up very early this morning. It was still dark.
From one angle in the garden I saw flashes of light. They were very quick and weak. It was only because I was paying close attention that I saw them and looked at them in awe. I knew that they were fireflies. I was fascinated by their perseverance as they continued to flash their weak light in pitch-black darkness. It's as if it didn't matter to them that they didn't seem to make any difference.
That was God's message for me today. When the darkness seems to overwhelm me, He comes and reveals Himself like these flashes of light.
It may not be enough to dispel the darkness, but it is what I need in order to remember that all is not dark.
God perseveres in making His presence felt, but most of the time He does it in gentle and quiet ways. He doesn't want to impress me to submission; He attracts me with His persistence.
Even if many times I don't acknowledge Him, or I wait for Him to reveal Himself in a grand way, He continues with His gentle light. What a great God! Pure, gratuitous love.

The way of "weakness"

Christ's way, the way of "weakness", is actually the way of the strong. Only those who are strong can say "Here, with me, stops the violence. I refuse to continue this chain of hurt, so I will not answer back with a cutting remark..." I really think that Christ's way is the only way to true peace.
My many experiences tell me how my seemingly witty remark, articulate and, at the same time, pregnant and cutting with the message it conveys, in the end, left a bitter taste on my mouth. Only I know that. Only I can judge what it is that motivates what I say - is it the truth, or charity, or self-promotion, or vengeance, or a dare?
Hurting people will never make me happy especially if it is only because of our differences in opinion, taste, color or religion. It indicates my "narrow world", and the more I hurt others, the narrower my world becomes.
The way of kindness is the only way to live, or at least to have a life worth living. The problem is, we get very few models of this. Kindness gets very bad press.
I need to fix my eyes on Jesus, the real Strong One, the One who is meek and humble of heart.

My first daisies

A miracle right before my eyes.
In the harshness of winter, behold my potted daisies...
The human spirit is resilient.
It can rise up after a fall,
it can dream again after any failure,
it can choose to be kind despite any negative experience.
When we make our journey with God, this is possible.

May daisies bloom in your heart always.

Georgina's gentle heart

"Keep clinging to the Rock! Fear not my loving friend and try to smile outwardly even when your gentle heart is breaking."
This line comes from one of Sr. Georgina's last email messages to me. Early this year, she got really sick and she now lives in a nursing home. She is undergoing therapy and, little by little, she has started to walk again.
Yesterday I got a surprise call from Sr. Anne, another Sister from her community. Sr. Georgina asked her to give me a ring and to give me her love.
I cried. This Sister, who has been sick for a long time, and who is taking slow and painful steps to get back on her feet again, this Sister has thought, nay, is thinking about me.
Dear, good Sr. Georgina, it is not I who have a gentle heart. It is you who have it. You have been with me in the most difficult moments of my life. You have kept watch with me as I contemplated, in my own life, the mystery of the cross - when my mother died, when I left my country to live in a foreign land, when my sister left the Institute, when I struggled with a very painful experience of rejection, and now as I live in my flesh the solitude of midlife transitions.
For me Sr. Georgina is like a lighthouse, an assurance, especially in a tempest, to keep rowing or to keep swimming because there is dry land.
Thank you, Sr. Georgina, for being an expression of God's tender mercies. Thank you for sharing with me your good and gentle heart.

PS. By the way she ended her message with these words "Sr. Georgina friend forever through thick and thin."

The unnecessary word

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)

I often think how much pain we could spare one another if only we learn to control our tongue. But more than the tongue, it is the heart that we must control, for it is from the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks. Once in a while I catch myself saying so many unnecessary things. Often, they make people laugh because they seem so sharp and witty; but more often they leave a bad taste, at least when I think deeply about it. I cannot fool myself; so it is only I who know whether a comment I've uttered had a deeper meaning.
This leads me to think that if only I think more positively of people, my speech would be much different; maybe I wouldn't talk too much. This might make me boring in the eyes of people. I might lose friends and fans. I might look stupid in the eyes of people. Can I handle it?
It takes discipline and practice. But first it should start with the conviction that I am loved. I am God's Beloved, so I do not need anybody else's affirmation to make me feel secure. Wow, it's a tall order. After all, I cannot always hear God's voice affirming me, or His embrace giving me security. But if I just learn to read my life I will certainly see the presence of God permeating my life story.
Being God's Beloved is a free gift. I did not do anything to merit it. God gives it to me free of charge and there is nothing I can do to change that, not even if I refuse to accept Him. The gift will always be there for me.
But God loves not only me. He loves all His creatures. We are all His sons and daughters. No one is loved more; no one is loved less. We are loved according to our needs. God's heart is too big that it has room for everybody.
If God loves my brother and sister, how can I speak ill of them?
If there is no rancour, prejudice or envy in my heart, no unnecessary word will come out of my mouth.

God's exquisite kindness

God has made me experience His exquisite kindness in two very special ways today.
While I was praying by myself in the chapel, I had the inspiration to go to the last pew. Normally I don't sit there because when people start to come, they distract me. Anyway, I heeded the inspiration and, therefore, had a long and good look at the big crucifix beside the altar. I had just read a book where somebody shared her experience of how in her difficult life, she has come to realize that "in the cross, somebody can truly understand" her. Yes, as I looked, as I gazed at that cross, I knew deep in my heart that someone understands the pain in my heart and the struggle to keep hoping. He, Jesus, knew the pain of betrayal, of rejection, of insuccess, of lack of comprehension. Yes, He understands. Somehow it gives me consolation as I go through this experience. In my solitude, someone keeps me company. His resurrection is the foundation of my hope that life triumphs.
The other experience happened also unexpectedly. I was feeling tired so I decided to take a walk in the garden, just to breathe a little fresh air, to see the flowers, the trees and the grass, to hear the birds and the young people playing in the nearby football field. Then I came across an elderly sister who has always touched me by her kindness and intuition. She was praying her rosary and she told me, "I am remembering you. Enlarge your heart, don't let suffering overcome you. Let go and you will learn to swim". Then we continued to chat. She shared with me some of her experiences and realizations. It wasn't a very long conversation, but it was life-giving.
Thank God for these special gifts today.

He has put timelessness into our hearts

"God has made everything appropriate to its time, and has put the timeless into their hearts, without men's ever discovering, from beginning to end, the work which God has done." (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
This text is part of a famous quote from Scriptures that starts with "There is an appointed time for everything". It is only today that I have been struck by this last part. God has an over-all plan, and that is a plan of joy and fullness of life. But this plan is an ongoing work, and we are involved in its construction. The problem is, we often question the whys of certain events and blame everything on God when things seem crazy and absurd.
If God has a plan, where is our freedom? Are we mere puppets in the hands of a great puppeteer? On the other hand, if we are responsible, then what use is it to pray and to ask God for help?
My own personal theory is this: God's plan is a plan of joy, of success, of fullness of life. We all have our part and what we do, what we say, even what we think, have their consequences in the lives of others and in God's plan of joy. But God continues to be present, motivating and inspiring us, so that despite our follies we may decide to cooperate in His plan. Mistakes and follies also have a place in this plan because they bring out the best in people like strength, resilience, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, sacrifice, etc.
Since we are a part of this puzzle, we are "in" and we cannot see the greater picture. What we see pertains only to our lives, or to the lives of those closest to us; and this may overwhelm us or make us despair. But if we just step back for a while and try to see the bigger picture, or just review a past experience, we will be amazed to see how even the most tragic thing can contribute to God's plan of joy.
Lastly, we will never find full joy in this life. God has put "timelessness" into our hearts. There will always be an angst, a sense of incompleteness, a craving for something more. Our hearts are too noble to be content with the created world, yet it is still too small in this life to be the dwelling place of a God who is so Great.

Don't judge

Do not judge. You do not know the whole story. You could be wrong. And if you are wrong, your judgment will take away your peace. And if you happen to be right, your feeling of self-righteousness will be short-lived.
So, don't judge, for your own peace.

The ministry of kindness

A friend of mine gave this text to me more than twenty years ago. I read it everyday. It is not easy to practice, but I believe that if I just try to be kind, I would have done something to make the world better.

Of all the ministries open to souls consecrated to God, the most effective, the most far-reaching, the most consoling is Kindness.
Kindness is one of God's best gifts to the world.
It drives gloom and darkness for souls.
It puts hope into fainting hearts.
It sweetens sorrow. It lessens pain.
It discovers unsuspected beauties of human character.
It calls forth a response from all that is best in souls.
It purifies, glorifies, ennobles all that it touches.
It opens the floodgates of children's laughter.
It gathers the tears of repentant love.
It lightens the burdens of weariness.
It stops the torrent of angry passion.
It takes the sting from failure.
It kindles courageous ambition.
It lifts the unfortunate.
It leads back the wayward.
It walks in the steps of our Savior.
Let us become apostles of kindness
to partake of its sweetness, to aspire to its holiness.
The ministry of kindness is exalted, it is sublime.
It is Christlike!