Today's Gospel was the Conversion of Saint Paul. The priest very wisely reminded us that conversion is first of all interior, allowing God to be the Lord of my life. What is seen on the outside is a natural consequence of the change within.
Perhaps the reason why my many resolutions fail within a day or two is that I focus more on the right thing to do, the right thng to say, the right thing to feel. Instead, I should be more focused on who is really the "hinge" that moves me.
What happened to Saint Paul is what happens to us when we allow God to take hold of our heart. There is no room for volunteerism, only for waiting, for opening ourselves to receive God as pure gift. Our weaknesses, our relapses will not frighten us, because we give up our agenda, we renounce the desire to have control.
And when we are no longer focused on "being" good and in "doing" good, but just on God, that is conversion. It is when we really start to be good and to do good.
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