No more wine

I am no wine expert, but I know that wine is a sign of feast, of celebration. At the wedding at Cana, there was a feast, a wedding feast, but they ran out of wine. How can a celebration without wine be a feast?

We are still a few days after the most joyous celebration - Easter. Everyday during the Easter octave we repeat the verse "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad", but I feel like my life is such a burden, it is passing from one work to another, from one responsibility to another. As one character of a film I've recently watched puts it, "for me, it's all duty. There is no joy in doing them."

I guess I call it the curse of a dutiful life, of being responsible. I reason out, and I pride myself when I say so, and think that it is a sign of maturity, that in life, many times, we cannot just do what we like. A lot of times, in order to survive, we just have to renounce our will and do what is good and what is right.

But it is very tiring and very oppressing to just "do". I need something more, to find the reason why I do what is good.

Jesus is the wine of rejoicing. I do not know how long this realization will last. These days of quiet have been helpful, but I have to go back to my plain and everyday life. But I am confident in God, my "everyday compassion". I may get lost and be entrapped in my web of attachments, but He will find me and lead me back home.