To a lovely friend

You are beautiful. 

And you are proof that beauty does not lie in a life that is unscathed.

For indeed, it is the struggles that we face head-on that make us discover the depths of our strength.

It is the tears that we’ve shed that give our eyes a sense of mystery.

It is the heart that has been hurt, yet not refuses to give up on love, that is finally rewarded by true love in the most unexpected place.

Random thoughts

 

In our world characterized by the rat race, unbridled competition, a seemingly insane drive to annihilate the other so as to get everything or, at least, the larger part of the pie, we need to really make an honest examination whether it is all worth it.
Do we really need to be bitchy, insulting and hurting just to prove our point?
Do we really need to make a "public exhibition" of ourselves (what we eat, what we wear, what we feel, where we are) just because it is in vogue?
Is it really necessary to do what everybody does. like headless chickens just jumping here and there?
Do we really need to wait for big occasions before we show people that we care?
When will we start living our own lives and not the vicarious lives of the rich and the famous?
We only have one life. It will never be perfect, but it is ours and we have the right be true to ourselves. This we owe to ourselves.
Be coherent ... dare to be different.

My alphabet

Always remember that God is in you and you are in God.
Be present to the present.
Carry out your commitment up to the end.
Don't let failure discourage you.
Eat well at the right time.
Forgive from the heaert.
Give thanks at all times.
Have a good laugh at yourself once a day.
In your dealings with others, be charitable.
Judge no one. You don't have all the facts.
Keep a happy face.
Listen to the person you are with right now.
Make the first step.
Never keep a grudge.
Open your senses to the wonders of creation.
Pray like a child.
Quit saying, "It is impossible".
Respect other people's choice, but have a mind of your own.
Say "Thank you", "Please", "May I" and "I'm sorry".
Trust the road.
Understand that even the best of people can sometimes let you down.
Visit the sick and those who are alone.
Welcome change.
Xpect some bumps along the road of life.
Yearn for what is good, true and beautiful.
Zip your mouth rather than say something uncharitable.

Choosing what is right

What is right is not always popular. When we choose to do what is right we are slowly growing roots that give a firm foundation to our lives, until it doesn't anymore matter to us whether we are popular.

God's footprints

I am still trying to understand what is God's message in the recent happenings in the Philippines.
If we look at it as a battle of the "good versus the bad", and you find yourself in the losing end, it is easy to be discouraged or to get angry. However, let us remember that it is God who saves the world. He uses many ways and means, including us, but He is free to choose whatever and whoever He wills. Let us not be discouraged; rather, let us find in our heart the compassion of Jesus that listens and understands the "other person".
Let us be humble in acknowledging that we do not own the truth. We are seekers of the truth. The truth doesn't force itself to be accepted because in time it will emerge as what it is, the truth.
Let us pray that the birth of Jesus may remind us all that when we choose what is right, we have to pay the price: unpopularity, poverty, solitude. But in the end, we acquire a deep joy and serenity that no one can take away from us.
Let us pray for our Catholic Church, and we are all part of this  wonderful but fragile family, that we may truly follow the way of Jesus. May we be at home with the poor and listen to their life stories and struggles without imposing our moralistic convictions and sounding so high and mighty. May we be at home to be poor and be happy with what is essential, consciously choosing not to vest ourselves of benefits and privileges.
Lastly, and this is really my most fervent wish, that we may have the courage to choose what is right not according to what is convenient to me now; rather, be guided by a well-informed and well-formed conscience. We haven't learned the lessons that history teaches us, that to choose based on personal convenience is a short cut to destruction and chaos.

Adversity

Just as strong winds test the sturdiness of a tree, so does adversity demonstrate the strength of our character.

Choices

One of the root causes of our miseries is our tendency to limit our criteria in making judgments to expediency and self-interest. Instead what is needed is to become persons whose judgments are based on principles. Perhaps my choices may cause me to suffer or to let go of certain comforts, but in the end they are truly beneficial not only to me but to my community and to the future generations.

It is okay to be kind

It is not the nationality, social class or level of education that determine the manners and character of a person. I saw one interview that said that it is the fault of adults that children do not have values and manners anymore; basic manners like respect, honesty, integrity, hardwork, self-discipline, concern for others.
Many adults are childish and they are guided only by one criterion: their own pleasure.
I think this is one of the root causes of the malaise in today's society. We don't care for principles, promises, vows, word of honor. As soon as a problem starts we already want out. There is so little resistance to pain and suffering because we were not trained in a life of discipline. Very few dream and struggle for a better future because we have everything, or we have things that keep us entertained, making us forget the more important and lasting things in life. Many young people's dream is either to be a singer or actress or a professional athlete because these are the easiest ways to fame and fortune.
So why do we blame children for acting without manners? Do we, adults, act with manners? Whenever I read comments on the web with the unmentionable and obscene expressions, I cringe at how much degradation we have arrived at. Do we need to hurl an invective or to say a swear word just to show that we are "in", that we are smart?
We want the easy and comfortable life where we are king and queen of the world. Sacrifice? It is one of the most unpopular words. Why sacrifice when we can have everything that we have; or why sacrifice when others can have what they want?
We need to regenerate society not from treaties between nations. They are often beautifully worded but lack spirit and dynamicity.
As adults, let us reclaim our role of communicating to the younger generations that the world is beautiful, and we  are privileged to contribute to make it truly so.
Let us not renounce this responsibility just because we want to remain popular, or we are tired, or we want an easy life, or we simply don't care. How can children know what is true, good and beautiful when our lives as adults do not show it to them?
Children learn from what they see, not from what they hear.

Why not start by remembering that "It is okay to be kind"? Start an act of kindness and see that you will spread sunshine all around.
Warning: don't wait for the result as you may not see them very visibly. But be sure that somewhere the little pebble that you have thrown on the pond is having its ripple effect.

Peter and Paul

Peter and Paul, two great saints.
Peter and Paul, two pillars of the Church.
Funny but when we think of great people, we always expect them to be perfect. But these two were not.
Peter, despite the privilege conferred on him by Jesus Himself, to be the first among the apostles, denied any knowledge of Jesus in front of a slave girl, of all people.
Paul, the great apostle, talked about a thorn in the flesh, most probably, in our vocabulary, a defect.
Somehow these two tell me that greatness is not equal to perfection. Greatness does not mean being somebody other than yourself so that you can conform to a certain model.
Greatness is truth. It is being truthful to oneself. It is accepting who I am, both my lights and shadows. No person is without anything positive or good.
When we live our lives according to who we are, without regrets, without excuses, then we are on the road to greatness.
Lastly, greatness does not mean being popular or being acclaimed.
Greatness is to feel good about oneself and to do my part, little though it may be, to make life a little bit better and kinder to someone.
When I can say, with a twinkle in my eyes, "I feel great!", this is the greatness that really matters.

Not an opium

Karl Marx said that "religion is the opium of the people".
I disagree. My faith, my personal relationship with Jesus Christ, which I am re-discovering, thanks to Jesus Christ's grace and mercy, is not an opium.
First of all, I am not numbed to the realities of life. I feel very intensely the pain of a rejection, of unkindness, of doubt, of harshness, of violence and of injustice. On the other hand, I also see the hidden joys, the small acts of love, and the beauty that surrounds me, though I still have to grow some more in this aspect.
Secondly, my relationship with Jesus gives me a perspective that goes beyond myself. After being in touch with my feelings, without any excuses or denials, I go a further step: I tell myself that life is not about myself. I am not the center of the world. Things happen with or without my permission or contribution. This deflates my ego and prevents me from self-recrimination.
Thirdly, Jesus gives me a hope that is certain, that believes that "there is a morning after". It may take time, but even when apparently everything is at a standstill, or even regressing, the voice of hope, faint though it may be, resounds in my heart, assuring me that in the deepest and darkest recesses, the seed is growing. This hope makes patience and joy possible.
Fourthly, Jesus teaches me and enables me to go beyond the eye-for-an-eye adage. It is possible to offer the other cheek, to go the extra mile, to persevere knocking on the door.
Yes, believing in Jesus Christ changes my life. It doesn't become easier. It becomes meaningful.

Fragile

Some issues in my life have reached a certain level of resolution. I cannot say that they are "resolved" according to how I would prefer resolution to be. Polly's ideals have been shattered. My experiences have opened my eyes to the fact that life is on the move. I cannot freeze time. I cannot frame an experience. Things will not be and will never be the same again.
There are times when I am tempted to go to the roots of things and try to understand and look for answers and explanations, but all I get are "maybe's". There are so many maybe's. I know, deep in my heart, that I would never know the answer.
And come to think of it, if I knew the answer, would it undo the situation, or ease the suffering?
So I live through this mystery; indeed, I live in this mystery.
I have simplified my goal. I no longer aim to solve or to resolve it. Mysteries are not solved. But everyday I can let an aspect of this mystery illumine my life: my attitudes, my choices, my values, my treasures.
I feel a certain level of peace, but it is very fragile. Maybe it will always be so, and it is better this way. It reminds me of my creatureliness in need of a great God.
"We hold this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing power may be of God and not from us. We are afflicted in every way, but not constrained; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Cor 4:7-9)

Don't quit

"For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the Lord." (Jeremiah 29:11-14)

Jesus in my heart

It's not for malice or ill-will that we don't know how to listen to people. I think it's because we are caught up in our production-oriented or efficiency-addicted world.
Despite our hyper-talk on the importance of community life, that it is the one that sustains our vocation, we water down community life to staying in the same house, praying at the same time, eating at the same time and at the same place, drafting a community plan and evaluating it. Some communities manage a step further and do have fun together; but very few are those where the members feel at ease in admitting their wounds and exposing their vulnerabilities, or sharing their inspirations and dreams.
We are fortunate when we find people who can be this for us. But they are not always around. I believe that God, our Provident Father, gives them to us at the right time, when we really need them. But, in the end, we need to "climb our mountains all alone", and to experience that in this solitude we are not really alone "Jesus is our true friend, our lifetime friend".
It's not rhetoric for me when I say this. I have experienced this, and I continue to do so. Jesus is here, in my heart. When I can be intimate with my self, when I am not afraid to accept myself as I am, it is to Jesus that I am exposing my self. When I manage to rise up, or just to drag myself through a difficult period, it is Jesus who tells me that I have it in me to be resilient and not to surrender.

Touch and believe

Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, "Peace be with you." Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe." Thomas answered and said to him, "My Lord and my God!" (John 20:26-28)

There must be something miraculous about the human touch. I come from a culture where touching is not very much encouraged; but it isn't looked at with malice and suspicion as it is in some places. Anyway, this is not the point of this musing.
I have experienced, in many occasions, the power of the human touch. A big, tight hug, a tap on the shoulder, holding of hands, gave me comfort during many of my strongest experiences. They are signs that I matter, that I am not alone, that someone cares.
One of my favorite songs has a line that says "we climb our mountains all alone". Yes, we cannot run away from this feeling of aloneness. We have to go through the way of solitude if we want to grow and not remain infants. But the warmth of a human touch, at the right time, changes our whole perspective and attitude as we go through the journey of solitude in order to find our roots and wings.
I am not alone. I share the lot of other men and women who are in a journey of finding meaning in our lives.

Don't judge

Do not judge. You do not know the whole story. You could be wrong. And if you are wrong, your judgment will take away your peace. And if you happen to be right, your feeling of self-righteousness will be short-lived.
So, don't judge, for your own peace.

Think well of others

The other day somebody commented on something I did, interpreting it in a way that has not even entered my mind when I did it. My first reaction was, I was flabbergasted. As I said earlier, I did what I did without even an iota of the intention she attributed to it. Then my reaction turned to irritation as I thought how it is very easy for people to think ill of others.
A few moments later I laughed at myself (when the anger and irritation have passed), as I thought of how I was, myself thinking ill of another. She might not have meant anything when she said that remark, but I interpreted it as she thinking ill of me.
Yes, how quick we are to judge. In a way, judgment is a defense for us. It's like passing the ball to the other court.
What is the key to think well of others? I think it is self-acceptance. When I have learned to accept and to love myself, warts and all, I don't have to defend myself anymore. When others think ill of me or speak ill of me, with or without reason, I can always remind myself that I am still a "work in progress" and I have all my lifetime to dedicate to it. When I have learned to accept and to love myself, I won't feel threatened when I see others "getting the better bargain". After all, the word "better" wouldn't be necessary in my vocabulary because I would be happy if I have what I need, without judging it as better or worse than what others have.
To think well of others is not easy. Only God knows what is in the realm of my conscience. Speaking well of others and doing good to others are always something external and I may do them not out of conviction but out of a sense of duty, shame, or conformism. But to think well of others, ahhh. That is the Christian call.

The impossible dream

It's election season again in the Philippines. With the many candidates presenting themselves full blast with the use of tri-media, and don't forget the campaign sorties even in far-flung villages, we are presented with an array of candidates, so many that it makes my head ache just to think of the ballots I have to fill up.
What is my point? It is hard to make a choice. We have grown more and more disillusioned with the kind of politicians we have, it seems like the Philippines is going from bad to worse. And so we blame the woes of our country to these people, but they would not have been there in the first place if we haven't placed them where they are. Oh well, of course, there are exceptions like for those who are where they are because of their astuteness. But then again maybe we are also responsible for letting them dupe us, and dupe us again and again for a long time.
Anyway, since I am not very young anymore and my experience in life has made me more sober (I hope), I'd like to just throw out there my own reflections. Let us turn away from our tendency to make decisions based only on practicality or convenience. Let us make choices based on what is GOOD. This coming elections is a struggle between Good and Evil, as my favorite Conrado de Quiros loves to say.
We would do well to remember these words of Thomas More, executed by the king because of his unwillingness to compromise his principles:
"When a man deserts his private conscience for the sake of public duty, he betrays himself and leads his country by a short road into chaos."
One practical and solid criterion for this coming elections? Don't vote for people who have a history of compromise. They don't have principles. Their interest is only for themselves.
Freedom has a price to pay, that is, holding fast to our principles. We may not see the fullness of freedom for our motherland in our lifetime, but we are consoled that we have planted the seed. We have left behind for our future generations something for which they will forever be thankful for.

Thorn in the flesh

For several years I have struggled with a weakness. I remember that my prayers were always to ask God to cure me of this weakness as I seemed powerless, despite my best intentions and efforts. That magical cure never happened. But it is no longer a struggle for me. I mean, I didn't even realize when it was that it happened. I just know that it is no longer an issue. It doesn't even make me so preoccupied as before.

I have entered another phase in my life and it was provoked by a difficult experience. I've struggled for several months, moving from denial to self-accusation. Somehow I have managed to survive but I can still feel its aftereffects. I am tempted again to ask God to take away the pain, maybe to give me amnesia so that it wouldn't torture me anymore.

Then I look back to my past experience, and I am sure that this too will pass, that one day I am going to get back my smile. The thorn in the flesh is not a curse but a blessing. It reminds me of my creatureliness, and of the goodness of God.

Reverence for those who suffer

Whoever suffers and is in darkness

sees further than one

who is not suffering.

The sun has to set

before we see the stars.

Suffering teaches

what cannot be learned

in any other way.

It holds the highest rank,

the teacher of wisdom.

And whoever has wisdom is blessed (cf. Prv 3:13).

"Blessed are those who suffer,

for they shall be comforted" (Mt 5:4)

- not only with their reward
in the next life

but also with the contemplation

of heavenly things here on earth.

We should approach

those who suffer

with the same

and even more reverence

than we used

to approach our elders,

sure that from them

we would receive great wisdom.

By Chiara Lubich

Real beauty

Susan Boyle is the latest sensation. Here is a wonderful article which might guide our soul-searching as to what really matters in life ...

The beauty that matters is always on the inside http://www.theherald.co.uk/mostpopular.var.2501746.mostviewed.the_beauty_that_matters_is_always_on_the_inside.php