On loving myself

Coming from a third world and a formerly colonized country, I've always looked up to first world / western countries and their people.

When I was a child, it was always a treat for us when relatives from abroad, especially from the US, came bringing stuff from these countries.
On the other hand, being born and having grown up in the city, I "felt" a certain superiority over my relatives living in the province. It wasn't really something conscious on my part. It was part of life and custom then.
I guess, in a way, it has influenced my way of looking at myself and my attitudes and behavior. To people who were "superior" to me, I was with a certain deference; while to those who were "inferior", I exhibited a certain haughtiness or snobbishness, or I tended to be patronizing.
I am called to conversion in this area.
First, I have to let the truth, which I believe in, that "we are all equal; we are all beloved children of the Father", to sink from my head to my heart, so that it would penetrate my whole being and change my behavior.
Second, I need to allow God to love me. I need to bask in this unconditional love that is freely given to me. I think, despite the many moments I've spent in reflection and in prayer, I haven't really believed in this truth. It will take time since my mind, my whole way of looking at the world, have been influenced by the world's idea that "everything has to be earned". Believing in God's unconditional and freely offered love is my only salvation. This is what will liberate me from the tendency to be a people-pleaser, from letting myself be at the mercy of people and of events, from unjustly expecting that people and events dance to my tune so that I will be okay.
Third, I have to realistically accept myself. I am a good person; yet, I am still a person-becoming. I have the tendency to avoid conflict because I've always believed that it is very difficult to repair something already broken. This leads me, unconsciously, to "buy people" or to "hide my own feelings and opinion".
But in life, conflict is inevitable. It could even be a doorway to growth.
A little humor will certainly be helpful in this area. My life is not a telenovela. There are lousy days, and they are part of life, so I need not exaggerate about them.
In relation to this, as a first concrete step, I have changed my desktop with a lighter-color-motif. Maybe it is also time to change my blog theme. Let's see.
Hope is beckoning me.