From within

There was a period in my life when I have completely lost my self-esteem. I questioned my goodness, my beauty, my creativity, the sense of my life. I've concluded that the only contribution I can give is in manual work. So there was a point when I worked like crazy in cleaning the corridor and the toilet, in keeping things in order and in helping in the kitchen. It was not something that was forced upon me. No, I actually enjoyed doing them, and I still do. The point is, they were, for me, affirmations that I am worth something.
At around the same time I also read somewhere that one of the helps to get back self-esteem is to have an affirmation file. So I started a notebook where I wrote down lines of affirmation I received. This was also of help, and I am amazed at how I am appreciated and loved by many people.
However, I have come to realize that these are just "crutches" that will help me a little to get back to my feet, but they do not really give something deeper and stable on which to re-build my life.
I have to find that strength within me. I know that I have it. It is the presence of Jesus. His love that is faithful and gratuitous is the key to accept myself as imperfect and beautiful, beloved and saved every moment.