When Jesus went into the region of Caesarea Philippi he asked his disciples, "Who do people say that the Son of Man is?" They replied, "Some say John the Baptist, others Elijah, still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets." He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter said in reply, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God."(Matthew 16:13-16)
Jesus is addressing to me personally this question. He is not asking for an answer of the formula-type. He looks at me in the eye and asks me, "Bing, who do you say that I am? Who am I for you? Twenty-four years ago, you were at the height of your fervor and you've left a happy family, a flourishing career, the love of special persons, and the promise of a bright future. Would you still do the same now, choose me above all else?"
The past twenty-four years are like a mosaic for me of different colors and hues.
There were experiences of highs when I strongly felt the presence of Jesus, giving meaning to my life, filling up the emptiness. There were experiences of a heightened desire to give all, to make as many people as possible to fall in love with Jesus.
But much more were the ordinary and every experiences of routine, of doing the same things; as if there is nothing to look forward to. It's always a temptation to look over the fence and see the greener pasture on the other side. Did I make a mistake in leaving everything for Jesus?
Jesus' call is a gift. It's not for any merit on my part. Jesus' love is a gift. I did not do anything to deserve it. But love is not euphoria. It is not all sentiment. Love is tested, proved and purified when one becomes certain despite the absence of feelings.
Will I still choose Jesus? I will, not because I am strong, but because my attraction to Him is already a sign of His presence within me.
Jesus is addressing to me personally this question. He is not asking for an answer of the formula-type. He looks at me in the eye and asks me, "Bing, who do you say that I am? Who am I for you? Twenty-four years ago, you were at the height of your fervor and you've left a happy family, a flourishing career, the love of special persons, and the promise of a bright future. Would you still do the same now, choose me above all else?"
The past twenty-four years are like a mosaic for me of different colors and hues.
There were experiences of highs when I strongly felt the presence of Jesus, giving meaning to my life, filling up the emptiness. There were experiences of a heightened desire to give all, to make as many people as possible to fall in love with Jesus.
But much more were the ordinary and every experiences of routine, of doing the same things; as if there is nothing to look forward to. It's always a temptation to look over the fence and see the greener pasture on the other side. Did I make a mistake in leaving everything for Jesus?
Jesus' call is a gift. It's not for any merit on my part. Jesus' love is a gift. I did not do anything to deserve it. But love is not euphoria. It is not all sentiment. Love is tested, proved and purified when one becomes certain despite the absence of feelings.
Will I still choose Jesus? I will, not because I am strong, but because my attraction to Him is already a sign of His presence within me.
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