God, thank you

As we end this year, let us look back at what was accomplished and discover in them God's footprints, His faithful presence. Let us thank God for the gift of persons whom we have met on our journey this year.
May each one of us give thanks to God for the lessons learned, for the strength to persevere during difficult moments, for the joy found in everyday life. With Mary, let us sing the Magnificat for the wondrous deeds God has accomplished in our lives, in our families, in our communities, in each sister, in our Provinces, in the Institute, in the world. A heart that loves always finds a reason to give thanks.
Let us welcome the New Year with trust and with eyes of stupor, believing that God makes things new every day, at every moment.

Be a blessing

Don't just ask for God's blessings. Be God's blessing to others!

At the end of the year

The end of anything is always a call to look back; looking back always provokes sentiments.
Today, as I look back at the year 2015, I feel amazed at how I manage to be serene despite the fact that so much has happened.
I also feel grateful because more and more I see that my life is really in God's hands. I have lost count of the times I have acted in a very positive way, when all the while I was ready with an angry retort. I know all the more that it is Christ living and acting in me.
Lastly, I feel in awe of God's mercy. I have so many limitations. There are many times I don't give to God what He deserves. But God is kind and merciful. God always leads me to a new beginning.

Word-made-flesh

For a Christian to say "And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us" means that we can no longer use God for our own purposes. We cannot pretend to understand God and make Him fit the categories we have made. God is beyond the categories and groups we have created. We should stop using God to justify the polarizations we have invented: conservative - liberal; pro-choice - pro-life; responsible - free-spirits; religious - pagan.
For a Christian to say "And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us" means to understand that the true God reveals Himself, flesh and blood, in Jesus of Nazareth. In Jesus we see and we hear God, and there is no ambiguity in His message.

With open hands

I open my hands, Lord, for the gift of Your Presence. You are the best gift, the only gift I need.
I know that there is still a lot to improve in me so as to become the person you've dreamed of me. Sometimes I don't know what to ask, when I am unaware of my shadows and limitations. Sometimes I don't want to ask what I know I need to ask, because I fear change.
God-within-me, help me to open my hands to give and to let go, to receive and to be grateful. Amen.

Herod's massacre continues

What has ignited Herod's mad massacre of babies? One word, FEAR.
When Herod learned from the wise men, his chief priests and the scribes that an "infant king" was born, Herod was perturbed, and, interestingly enough as Matthew's Gospel continues, so was the whole Jerusalem.
Paradoxically, Herod was afraid of a baby.
Who is afraid of babies? Babies are one of the most helpless and unthreatening of creatures!
Herod was afraid of what This Baby represented: CHANGE. Jerusalem was perturbed because with a "change of kingship" their whole way of life is in peril.
And so the "massacre" continues to this day in many ways: unborn babies, displaced peoples, child soldiers, the elderly and the handicapped, "excess" labor force, trafficked people especially women, children. In short, all those who are a threat to a stable, easy and comfortable life.
But the massacre also happens when in subtle ways we "kill" people who, we think, are a "threat" to us, who force us to rethink our values and choices, who remind us that we are not the "center" of the world.
It is easy to judge Herod and other people, but before we point fingers at them, let us look at ourselves because we have blood in our hands, too. Because everytime I forget that I am responsible for others, be they near or far; that I am not the center of the world; that, regardless of race or creed, we are brothers and sisters of the same human family, I, too, am complicit in the massacre of innocents.

God bless all families

We didn't come into this world by ourselves. We weren't born alone. Our birth may have had different circumstances but it was always by way of another person. Good or bad, in joy or in sorrow, we cannot deny that we are tied to our families. With a little humility and sincerity, we will say that we owe our life to our family.
No family is perfect, as nothing in this world is perfect.
Let us pray for families: those who courageously face life's challenges; the weak and wounded families; those who are suffering; those who dream a better future; those who only live for the present moment, without a higher horizon; those who struggle to put together the broken pieces of their life; those who wait, because circumstances force them to, and those who wait with trust in their heart because God is faithful to His promises.
Lord Jesus, you who chose to be born in a family, bless all families of the world. Amen.

Christ in Christmas

There is no Christmas without Christ. Let us give Christ back to Christmas!

Blessed

I am blessed with a love that never gives up, a long and lasting love, a love that is just constant and faithful it doesn't even depend on my response.
It is this love that makes me able to love.
Yes, I am blessed to be loved by God.

Zechariah's silence

I always thought that Zechariah's silence was a punishment because he doubted the Angel Gabriel's message. But come to think of it, silence is how we respond when we come face-to-face with mystery. We don't have words, we can only be silent. It is as if when we open our mouth something that is sacred becomes profaned.

Mary's journey of faith

Mary, 2015 years ago, how were you feeling?
You must have, by that time, already heard of the emperor's decree that each man, and of course their family, had to go back to his original town for the census.
What was your reaction? Your date was very close, so you must not have been very happy with the turn of events.
Was it easy for you to say, "okay, let's go!"? Or did you also struggle, or a bit rebellious, or worried, wondering if you could, in that condition, go through that whole journey. Did you think about what you would have done should your due date come and you were still on the road? Have you wondered whether you would find a decent place, or whether Joseph's relatives would treat you well knowing the circumstances of your marriage?
I will never know how you felt then, Mary.
What I know is that you continued on the journey, in faith.

Embracing our story

No person ever had a perfect life. And no one ever will. Our personal story is full of lights and shadows, joys and sorrows, triumphs and failures. It is this alternating of experiences that makeS our life challenging and interesting.
A necessary step to live the present in serenity is to accept that we have a past. And this past is something that we cannot change anymore. But this doesn't mean that we cannot move forward.
So what do we do with our past? We accept the lessons that it teaches us, we forgive it for its imperfections, and we thank it because it has somehow shaped the person that we are today.
Who we are today can be a better one tomorrow. It is both a promise and a responsibility. It is what motivates us to get up everyday. At the end of the day we realize that the day hasn't been what we have envisioned it to be, and it is okay. That is why we need a Savior.

Carving our own destiny

We need leaders who remind us of our noblest ideals and help us to journey towards the realization of these ideals.
To think that leaders are like vending machines that will give us the finished product that we need is to renounce our sacred right and obligation to carve our own destiny. It is a sure road to frustration.
The building of any group: family, community, country, isn't a one-man or one-woman job.
When we choose someone because he/she promises to make life a paradise for us, we are selling ourselves short. It will never happen. It has never happened and it never will.
What we need is to take responsibility. We need to believe that change starts from us. We need to be convinced that peace or progress, if it doesn't benefit everybody isn't peace or progress at all.

Waiting for God's time

To wait for God's time is not to wait until God does what we want.
To wait for God's time is to wait until our hearts are transformed to see God in whatever happens.

John, the precursor

Yesterday's Gospel presents the figure of John the Baptist. He is an important and revered figure in Christianity, after all, he is the precursor of the Messiah.
Then I let my imagination run. If John the Baptist were born today, to what figure could I associate him? The Gospel of Matthew describes him, thus:
    he lived in the wilderness
    he had his raiment of camel's hair, and a leathern girdle about his loins
    his meat was locusts and wild honey.
not so much the type whom we would see seated in the great halls or interviewed all over the place.
Instead, he would be much like a tramp, a rebel, or one of those who spend their days in protest rallies.
So how do I react to these people? Do I listen to them, or don't I, like the majority, think of them as weird?
If John the Baptist were born in this age, I might not even take a second look at him.

May God open my eyes to see Him  and to listen to Him because He speaks and He manifests Himself as He pleases, even through the most unusual instruments.

I believe

Wherever we are, wherever we go, we are always in God's hands. This is a comforting thought. Nothing could harm us. No one can separate us from God.
We may suffer momentary experiences of God's seeming absence, when we feel that things don't go as we expect, or when situations are not good according to our criteria; but that doesn't mean that God is absent. I think it just means that we must go back to the center and re-focus.
The farther we go away from God, the softer His voice becomes; but that doesn't mean God is absent.
And when we can finally say it, even with soft and trembling lips, "Lord, I believe", it is God who put that faith in our hearts.

The broken pieces feed many

In one of the miracles recounted in Matthew's Gospel (Matthew 15:29-37), the feeding of the multitide, Jesus takes the seven loaves of bread, blesses and breaks them, then distributes them to satiate the hungry crowd.
We have something to learn from this. Whoever shared the bread could have kept them for himself/herself/themselves, but he/she/they decided to share. And so the multitude was fed. I do not need to consume a whole loaf to satiate my hunger.
We live in a world where a lot of us have gone beyond mere selfishness. We have become greedy, avaricious. We want to amass more for ourselves or for a very restricted circle called friends, family, tribe or country. And the sad thing is, at the end of the day we don't really enjoy anything because we lust for more. It is like stuffing your mouth with food that you feel like vomitting.
It's time to really be happy living with the essentials.

Bring back God

"He shall judge between the nations,
and impose terms on many peoples.
They shall beat their swords into plowshares
and their spears into prunning hooks;
one nation shall not raise the sword against another,
nor shall they train for war again.
O house of Jacob, come,
let us walk in the light of the Lord!"
(Is 2:4-5)

Were I to envision the future, this is how it will be: instruments of death transformed into tools that give life; no more training for war, because there will be no more wars, instead, people will be learning to truly live.
I think this is everybody's dream, especially of our brothers and sisters whose only experience of life is to run from one place to another, just trying to save their lives and, if they are lucky enough, to have food, shelter, an education, work.
I think this is every person's dream. But we have to extend this dream beyond the limited circle of our friends and family, beyond ethnic and national boundaries. And, in order to do this, there is one condition: give back to the true God the Lordship and live our lives according to God's original plan.

Come after me

"Come after me", these words summarize my identity. First, Jesus calls me to have a relationship with Him. Then, Jesus sends me to be like Him, a person who is for others.
Working for God's Kingdom is good, and Jesus wants us to engage on this. But it is a consequence, a natural result of an experience. We are not only workers for the Kingdom; we are part of the Kingdom. And this Kingdom is about recognizing God's presence in our lives.

Letting God in

I often experience that I do something good in a difficult or impossible situation, or when I don't feel being good at all. Moments like this really remind me of God's goodness and greatness. I recognize that it is God, not me, who is at work.
I don't see it as a non-respect of my freedom; rather, I see it as a reminder that my essence is goodness, and this essence is a sharing in God's very own identity.

Look up!

To "look up", to "seek the things that are above" doesn't mean to turn my back on the world or not to engage in the wonderful adventure called life.
No, to look up means to remember the bigger picture. There is a God who lovingly holds the universe in His hands.
It means that when I make decisions, discretion and practicality, though they are good, should not have the ultimate say.

The sycamore and the gaze

What does the Gospel passage about Zaccheus teaches me?
It teaches me a lot.
First, it is truly a deep encounter that changes us. When I say deep, it means that it is an encounter that engages my entire being: mind, heart and limbs.
Second, encounter takes place because there is an attraction. This attraction may be caused by different reasons, but it must be there; because attraction is what makes us agree to suspend what is usual to focus on something. Attraction makes us open to the encounter.
Third, we have to do something after that initial attraction. It may be to climb a sycamore tree and do away with all appearances of "being cool".
Lastly, however odd or small our effort may be, God does His part. And when God truly looks at us, and we let that gaze penetrate the deepest core of our being, we will never be the same.

Three at last!

After more than thirty years, I and my high school girlfriends had a reunion. The feeling was overwhelming, in a very, very good way. What made our reunion more surreal was the presence of one of our high school Religion teachers who is now a priest in Long Island.
The last time we were together was at our high school graduation in Manila, Philippines. Our reunion took place two days ago in New Jersey, USA. At fifteen, which was my age the last time we met, I would never have imagined us meeting again and in this way.
We had a whole day of reminiscing, of catching up about our personal lives, and of updating ourselves with news about our common friends.
Life has certainly brought us in unexpected directions, not always pleasant nor easy to understand; but we are grateful to life, and to the wisdom that goes with it.
Certainly, life is more creative than our wildest imagination, so we are called to be like little children: to sing, to dance, to love every minute of this gift called life.
I admire and respect my girlfriends because they wear the bruises of life as scars earned in battles. They are growing in graciousness and kindness, recognizing that life is not a competition, but a journeying together.
We went apple-picking, then proceeded for a drive close to a lake and around town, basking in the glorious colors of autumn. And suddenly we were back at fifteen, when we were full of dreams of "when I grow up...", playing, taking photos, laughing and just havingfun.
As swiftly as it started, the glorious day came to an end, but it has surely filled our hearts with a true experience of the gift of friendship.
We will bring this precious gift wherever we are and to whatever direction life takes us. Life is not to be hurdled alone. I have friends who are with me always, cheering for me.
Thank you, Lord, for the gift of friends.

The sound of solitude

It's biting me again: that deep ache, that feeling of being alone whilst surrounded by a crowd. Perhaps it is autumn, or perhaps it is because after a month in a community of Sisters whom I have grown to love I am on the move again. Yes, I am feeling the ache once again.

Yesterday the Pope gave a homily in which he talked about solitude. Among other things he mentioned:
"The drama of solitude is experienced by countless men and women in our own day. I think of the elderly, abandoned even by their loved ones and children; widows and widowers; the many men and women left by their spouses; all those who feel alone, misunderstood and unheard; migrants and refugees fleeing from war and persecution; and those many young people who are victims of the culture of consumerism, the culture of waste, the throwaway culture."

We do a lot things to run away from solitude. We listen to music, we watch videos, we play video games, we talk non-stop or we navigate the internet. We move on from one relationship to another, from one past time to another. We try out new food, we shop until we drop, or we window-shop. We talk about people, about the world, we engage ourselves in "important" causes. We do everything so as to stifle the voice of loneliness that just emerges so loudly at certain points of our lives.

But what if I just stop and really feel the pain seeping through my entire being? God calls me to make this courageous choice not to run away, not to have immediate answers, but to live the tension of being in a limbo, of having balls in the air.

At the end of the day, it is really to ourselves that we have to go home to. Even the people closest to us cannot enter inside the deepest sanctuary of our being. That sanctuary is only for me and my God. Solitude is a call to be at home with my God.

Not by force

Truth has a force of its own, and we do a disservice to the truth when we force it upon people.

A best friend

A friend is someone you can be with for eight hours straight.
A best friend is someone you can be with for eight hours straight and still think that time isn't enough.

Peace-bearers

There is always a danger that in our passion to promote peace we could resort to means that are contrary to what we are workingfor. Of course we want to see results, nay, we are impatient to see results, and in our haste to see them we, sort of, force the issue, we use shortcuits. But shortcuts often boomerang on us.
In today's Gospel Jesus sends out his disciples. Among his recommendations, Jesus tells them to bring peace wherever they go. Should the place where they go choose not to accept that peace, it doesn't mean that the disciples have failed. The peace that they have offered to others will always come back to them.
We will never have peace by forcing the issue. To give to others the gift of peace is to allow them to accept it or to refuse it. But whatever their response is, it will never take away the peace in our heart. In doing this we may not see the end to global issues of peace, but we will be planting seeds of peace in the heart. In the long run, and maybe we won't see this in our lifetime, this is the only way to peace in the world.

He loved me first

I am a nun, and have been one for 23 years now. If you add the four years of preparation before the official start of my being a "nun", then it is like a lifetime.
It is a choice that I have never regretted,
After the sixth year, the year when I made my perpetual profession, I just stopped counting.
At this juncture, I feel like I am caught up in the vicious cycle of routine and of settling down, which happens in most relationships. After all, being a nun is more than a profession. It is a relationship: with God, with my fellow nuns, with the people I deal with daily, etc.
I feel like I am in a limbo. Days pass by without any feeling that I have done something special or that I have made a difference. What is sad is, a lot of times, I don't even care. I feel as if life is just passing me by, that I am just moving on pushed by the crowd.
I feel a certain repulsion over the state of my life, but I feel powerless to do anything.
The Gospel of today helped me to remember that time, so very long ago, when I gave up everything, my present and my future, in order to follow Jesus. But I also remembered that before it was my turn, it was first Jesus who loved me and captured my heart. It was he, it is always Jesus, who loves us first.

Weeping

May I not get used to the news about refugees, bombings, wars, sufferings of every kind, the dilly-dallying of politicians and other leaders. May I really weep and not just whine. May God grant me a heart in solidarity with all.
What is tragedy for a person is a tragedy for all humankind.
As I weep for them, I also weep for us. We are losing what is most basic for human beings - that is, seeing in the other person a partner, a friend, a brother or sister,
We are fighting about so-called convictions, when they are just our personal securities that we want to protect.
People are not problems to solve. People are the most wonderful and creative of God's creatures, and you, I, they, we are all one of them.

A haunting image

May we really learn to weep in the face of others' suffering.
When we weep on behalf of people we don't even know, it is a sign that we have finally understood that we are all brothers and sisters, we are all one family.
We should be ashamed to flaunt our riches and so-called progress when we allow our brothers and sisters, especially the most helpless ones, to struggle to defend the most basic right that we have, the right to life.

Hope

Hope makes us move forward, perhaps not always with sprint and enthusiasm, or perhaps we are just dragging ourselves one painful step at a time, but we don't give up, knowing that no matter how slow the pace is, we are on a journey and one day we will get "there".

Crossover

We are constantly called to crossover. When God beckons, we must take the  risk of leaving the safety of the shore in order to discover new lands.

Faith

To take God in his own terms, that is faith.

Solid ground

Sometimes we need to fall off our horse to realize that the ground we're treading on isn't solid.

No sides

Right side or left side, above or below. Does it really matter when we are with God?
Right or left, above or below. Attention to this shows that our focus is still on ourselves.
When we are with God, nothing else will matter because we already have God. We have everything. That is why men and women of God are the happiest people wherever or with whoever they are.

In an eternal embrace

God chooses us and invites us to stay with Him. God draws us close to His heart where we find rest and comfort. The closer we are to God in this embrace, the more our heartbeat becomes in harmony with God's heartbeat. When we respond with mercy and compassion, that is God's heart beating in our own heart.
Saint Augustine said that our hearts are restless until they rest in God. That is true; but I think God's heart is also restless until He draws all unto His own heart in an eternal embrace.

Faith matters

It is faith that makes all the difference in the way we see, understand and act in a situation.
Lord, increase my faith ...
  Where some people might see trash, may I discover a hidden treasure;
  Where some people might see meaningless suffering, may I see a call to growth;
  Where some people might see deprivation, may I see a choice for the essential;
  Where some might see defeat, may I see renunciation for a higher good.
Every choice we make is based on what really matters to us. The challenge is to ask ourselves whether at the point of death they would really matter.

God writes with crooked lines

We hear a lot the most common argument against God's existence: "If God exists, why does He allow suffering and death, especially of the innocent?"
The flaw in this argument is that we try or we want God to fit in with our categories, God in our own terms. If He doesn't fit in, He is not God. And that is the flaw. If God fits in with our categories, clearly and cleanly, is He really, truly God?
How many times have we experienced that what we once considered as an experience of suffering or as an experience that doesn't make sense, finally fits in. Finally it makes sense!
Just like the story of Joseph and his brothers... After years of solitude, exile and betrayal, it made sense...
"I am your brother Joseph, whom you once sold into Egypt. But now do not be distressed, and do not reproach yourselves for having sold me here. It was really for the sake of saving lives that God sent me here ahead of you."
We must be patient in living the questions because one day we will know the answers, or we won't even need answers at all.

The cross

Looking at the cross, Jesus seems to tell me:
   I did this for you,
   but I did this for them, too,
   so that you may learn to love
   whether they deserve it or not.

Unconditional love

To love someone not because that person deserves to be loved shows true love. This kind of love is possible when we allow God to love us. God's love is sufficient for us that we are able to love others without condition.

A heart like God's

When Jesus asks us to love our enemies, I don't think that He meant that we begin to treat them as our best friends. That wouldn't be possible.
I believe what He means is that we treat people well, we wish people well, even those who do not treat us well. We don't wish people harm, even those who do us a lot of harm.
Instead, we pray for them. We ask that in God they may find what is best for their life. We pray for their sake, not for ours.
And as what happens when we truly pray, God will transform our hearts unto His own heart, a heart of goodness and mercy.

Life's equation

Yesterday was my birthday, my forty-ninth! Where did all those years go? It seems like it was only yesterday when I was thinking about what I would do when I grow up. Now I am close to the half-century mark.
One of the perks of growing old is that your treasure chest of wisdom grows even without going to school or an updating course. Life itself is our school. But it is up to us to be enriched by the lessons that we learn.
And one of the greatest lessons I've learned is that I can never be in control of anything. Despite my best laid plans, there is always a place for a "variable" or two that can change the equation.
But I have also learned that there is always one "constant", the presence of a loving God.
If we allow that "constant" in, our equation is always full of hope.

Faith is more than a feeling

We are wrong when we treat God as just another "something" to fill up a need. Don't get me wrong, because people who have made a true journey of faith all confirm that it is God who fills up that need to find life's meaning.
But the problem is, many times we want to arrive immediately at the end of the journey without wanting to go through the journey. It is frightening journey because the true journey of faith necessitates letting go of control. And this will surely affect our feelings. We won't always feel the "highs" of faith. Sometimes we have to go through the darkness of unfeeling or of rebellion.
This is why faith is more than a feeling. We need something more stable than our feelings on which to lean, like a solid rock.
Today I had a chat with a wise elderly sister. She affirmed that a true encounter with Jesus necessitates knowing who Jesus is, knowing His message. And this knowledge is possible because we have the Gospel and we have our Mother-Church. This is our sure foundation that the Jesus who "is the reason for our hope" (cf 1 Pt 3:15) is not some figment of our imagination or a product of our emotion.

To a lovely friend

You are beautiful. 

And you are proof that beauty does not lie in a life that is unscathed.

For indeed, it is the struggles that we face head-on that make us discover the depths of our strength.

It is the tears that we’ve shed that give our eyes a sense of mystery.

It is the heart that has been hurt, yet not refuses to give up on love, that is finally rewarded by true love in the most unexpected place.

Obedience to God

The journey to interior freedom is a long and never-ending journey. We never arrive. The moment we think that we have everything figured out and we safely use categories, is a sign that we are off-course.
It doesn't mean, though, that we don't have principles or convictions. Nay, it means that we are open to look at our values and see shades of egoism and self-centeredness in them. It is to admit that our motivations are never perfectly pure.
Left to ourselves, our criteria of judgment are always relative.
And so we need the light of Someone higher than ourselves. I call this Someone God, others might use another name.
Our choices are a constant search and dialogue. And so the journey goes on and on.

Seeing God through our tears

In his homily two years ago about today's Gospel reading, Mary Magdalene's encounter with the Risen Christ, Pope Francis said that it is often through our tears that we are able to see God.
Yes, it is when we are totally stripped of our so-called abilities, accomplishments and entitlements that we come to realize that there is nothing that we can hold on to forever, no matter how great it may be.
Our experiences of failure and disillusionment can be opportunities for us to review our life and to focus on what really matters. Our tears can purify us and cleanse our eyes so we can see clearly.
But we need to make one necessary step: stop looking at ourselves and fix our eyes above.
Only then can we see that "it is the Lord".

Listen

To listen is the first step to wisdom. In listening, we engage our whole being: our senses, our memory, our mind. Without the discipline of listening, life passes by without us realizing it. We go from one experience to another in a very superficial way. We commit the same mistakes, not because of human weakness but because we haven't identified the lessons our experiences teach us. We become like ship tossed to and fro by the wind because we don't have something solid that holds us.
Lord, give me the gift of listening in openness, humility and truth.

Much more than obeying the law

My goal in life is not to follow the ten commandments. It is too little. It doesn't inspire the heart.
My goal in life is to follow a person - Jesus.
Yes, to follow a person; to let my life be united with His; to let His passion be my passion.
To let Jesus penetrate every fiber of my being sounds like a great adventure!

The price of growing up

Our personal journey is mysterious and we cannot compare ours with another's, nor have easy recipes or prescriptions. There are common elements, but each one of us must grope in the dark. We make our journey and pay for it with our own blood, sweat and tears. This is the price of growth, and growth is a sign of life.

A woman on my mind

As we celebrate International Women’s Day today, I think about my mother. It’s been almost fourteen years since she passed away. What will I always remember about her?

She loved to reach out to people. Their indifference or cruelty made her suffer but she always managed to just heave a deep sigh, or cry in secret or in the company of a trusted person. But she would not let an uncharitable retort or cruel words come out of her mouth. Was this a sign of weakness? Some may say so, but I don’t. For me this was a sign of great self-control and a magnanimous heart that knows that she is not the center of the world.

She loved life. She laughed a lot. She gave gifts on birthdays, Christmas days, or for no occasion at all, not big ones for she couldn’t afford that, but gifts that made the other person feel special. I didn’t even know about this, but during our frequent family get-togethers now someone would always remember some experience.  

She loved God. She always saw everything in the light of faith. She would always say “Bahala na ang Diyos” (God will take care of it) or “Ipinagpapasa-Diyos ko na lang” (I leave it in God’s hands). And the decisions she took were always based on this certainty. She wasn’t lazy, though, or passive. She did her part, but it was okay if things didn’t turn out the way she wanted. She knew how to move on.

Did she love herself? We know that a healthy personality would entail a healthy love of oneself. So to the question whether she loved herself, I’d say yes. But my mother was a wise woman. She knew that “herself” was a part of a greater whole. “Herself” was always in relation with something, or someone, or Someone.

If my mother would take a personality test, perhaps she wouldn’t make a perfect score. I don’t care about that. I don’t even want to make a perfect score myself. It would be enough for me if I learn from my mother that life is NOT a property to be consumed, but a gift received that becomes more meaningful when shared. We don’t need to wait to have a perfect life for us to be happy because happiness is something we choose for ourselves with whatever ingredients life offers to us.