Sin no more

"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

His words made me aware that I am still alive. Yes, I am still here. The men haven’t stoned me to death.

I remember them all, men both young and old. Some of them looked familiar. Perhaps I have met them at one time or another. While some were totally strangers. But all were shouting as if in a chorus, "this woman has to die".

They dragged me to a man named Jesus. This name, too, sounds familiar. Have I met him somewhere? Oh no, he is a famous preacher going from town to town. Some were even saying that he works miracles.

I suddenly felt so alone amidst all these men. Don’t get me wrong. I am used to being alone. I have been for many years. Shunned by my family; despised by other women.

Then I remembered that he was asking me a question. I just managed a quiet "no one sir". I then waited for my sentence from this Rabbi. I was waiting for him to look at me with condemning eyes, or at least to sustain the judgment of the other men. After all people are like that. When they rise as a crowd no one can nor dare reason out. Besides, under our law I have to die. After all, I have committed a grave sin.

He didn’t even lift up his eyes to look at me. And suddenly I felt as if this man was looking through me and seeing my heart, the things I hold dear, the secret pains, the secret dreams. 

I haven't felt like this before. All through my life I have never felt this sense of completeness, of being at the right place at the right time. Perhaps that is the reason why I have drifted from place to place, from person to person. In exchange for a few moments of satisfaction I have prostituted my body; and worse, I have sold my soul.

Then he said his words of sentence "Neither do I condemn you. Go away, and from this moment sin no more." He said these words so softly, as in a whisper. Am I just imagining it?

But when I looked around and saw that everybody has left, I am sure that I am saved. Yes, saved, not only from physical death but from the death of my soul. I am saved by the graciousness of Jesus from a meaningless life.

Suddenly I feel at peace and grateful for this second chance. 

And when I am tempted again to sell my soul, I will just remember how once in my life a man named Jesus has risked his own life to give me back mine.