Psalms

Last Sunday while praying the Lauds I almost choked when we reached the part that says "I was punished, I was punished by the Lord, but not doomed to die" (Psalm 118).
I've never believed that God punishes us or puts us to the test. In fact, I often feel bad when people speak of their problems as God's test.
God is Father.
Perhaps in this day and age this affirmation doesn't mean anything; or worse, it may arouse something negative.
But when I say that God is Father, it means that I believe that God is the giver and sustainer of life. God wants nothing else but that we live to the full His gift of life.
So where does suffering enter? Well, this is how I understand it: Suffering is a "given", as a consequence of our creaturehood, our finite life, our imperfect world. That is why no one is exempt from suffering.
But to get back to Psalm 118...
While reciting it, I just thought of how the author of that Psalm, written thousands of years ago, has adequately expressed something that is mine. I, too, experienced the depth of suffering. I've "kissed dirt". I thought there was no way out. I thought the pain would never end...
But here I am...
Once in a while the thought of how much I've suffered still comes back...
the ache in the heart...
but it's a quiet ache, a reminder to forgive;
a gentle assurance that, indeed, things get better.
The psalmist expressed it so well, yes, God did not let me die. "I shall live and recount his deeds."