In the desert

With the Spirit's help, I would really like to live this Lenten season "in the desert", bereft of my securities. I read somewhere that the desert is the place of the essentials.
With the passing of the years, my life has become complicated: so many knots, so many gray areas, so many rationalizations. Sometimes it is hard for me to see and to recognize my own values and convictions.

What or who do I hold dearest in my life?
I know that I have made a lot of decisions, big and small, that were dictated by convenience and utility - because I wanted to fit in, because that was expected of me, because I did not want to offend, because I just wanted to end the discussion, because I did not want to get hurt, etc., etc.

What are the securities that I have accumulated?
My experience of these past two years has made me realize that these so-called securities are false. Indeed, they make me feel more insecure because I hold on and I cling to them so desperately, and so I lose my freedom and spontaneity.

So, welcome to this 40-day desert experience. I know that by myself, I cannot do it.

The desert is not some exotic place we see in postcards. It is a place of hostile forces.
When the howling winds of my mistakes haunt me,
When the scorching heat of rejection and judgment is unbearable,
When the cold nights of solitude are just too much,
When the lack of water and other things I used to rely on make me crippled and desperate...
When these temptations call me to turn back, I need a deep Center, Someone who will stay with me through it all, so that I may enter the land of freedom, the Promised Land.

Jesus is that deep Center. He will walk with me through the desert and lead me to freedom.