Taking my life seriously

To fully live life is to decide to go through the painstaking process called growth. Growth requires patience and perseverance. Nothing that is valuable is ever achieved the easy way. Unfortunately, we look at waiting as a waste of time. We want to reach the top without any effort at all, using magical and instant solutions. Perhaps that is why we have no depth. That is why we run from one thrill to another, and another, and we are never satiated. That is why long-standing and permanent commitments are considered taboo. Fidelity is scoffed at as a sign of some personality disorder. Respect and decency are considered cowardice.
It is time to take our life seriously, after all, it is the only life we have. Let us not let the mob rule it. is this the life that I truly want? When I turn 80, will there be no regrets in the way I have lived my life? Will I be proud to say that, of course, my life is not perfect! I do have my share of failures and setbacks, but I tried to listen to the voice of my heart and live a life that is worth being called human.

God-centered

Today's Gospel was the Conversion of Saint Paul. The priest very wisely reminded us that conversion is first of all interior, allowing God to be the Lord of my life. What is seen on the outside is a natural consequence of the change within.
Perhaps the reason why my many resolutions fail within a day or two is that I focus more on the right thing to do, the right thng to say, the right thing to feel. Instead, I should be more focused on who is really the "hinge" that moves me.
What happened to Saint Paul is what happens to us when we allow God to take hold of our heart. There is no room for volunteerism, only for waiting, for opening ourselves to receive God as pure gift. Our weaknesses, our relapses will not frighten us, because we give up our agenda, we renounce the desire to have control.
And when we are no longer focused on "being" good and in "doing" good, but just on God, that is conversion. It is when we really start to be good and to do good.

Full circle

Today I talked on the phone with the person who has hurt me most.
I had to undergo a long journey of healing and forgiveness after this person has hurt me and treated me like trash.
This is not the first time that we have talked after years of not talking to each other. The previous ones were sincere on my part, I guess, on her part, too.
But I guess all wounds take time to heal until you don't feel any pain anymore, and the scar just reminds you of the battle that you have won.