He loved me first

I am a nun, and have been one for 23 years now. If you add the four years of preparation before the official start of my being a "nun", then it is like a lifetime.
It is a choice that I have never regretted,
After the sixth year, the year when I made my perpetual profession, I just stopped counting.
At this juncture, I feel like I am caught up in the vicious cycle of routine and of settling down, which happens in most relationships. After all, being a nun is more than a profession. It is a relationship: with God, with my fellow nuns, with the people I deal with daily, etc.
I feel like I am in a limbo. Days pass by without any feeling that I have done something special or that I have made a difference. What is sad is, a lot of times, I don't even care. I feel as if life is just passing me by, that I am just moving on pushed by the crowd.
I feel a certain repulsion over the state of my life, but I feel powerless to do anything.
The Gospel of today helped me to remember that time, so very long ago, when I gave up everything, my present and my future, in order to follow Jesus. But I also remembered that before it was my turn, it was first Jesus who loved me and captured my heart. It was he, it is always Jesus, who loves us first.

Weeping

May I not get used to the news about refugees, bombings, wars, sufferings of every kind, the dilly-dallying of politicians and other leaders. May I really weep and not just whine. May God grant me a heart in solidarity with all.
What is tragedy for a person is a tragedy for all humankind.
As I weep for them, I also weep for us. We are losing what is most basic for human beings - that is, seeing in the other person a partner, a friend, a brother or sister,
We are fighting about so-called convictions, when they are just our personal securities that we want to protect.
People are not problems to solve. People are the most wonderful and creative of God's creatures, and you, I, they, we are all one of them.

A haunting image

May we really learn to weep in the face of others' suffering.
When we weep on behalf of people we don't even know, it is a sign that we have finally understood that we are all brothers and sisters, we are all one family.
We should be ashamed to flaunt our riches and so-called progress when we allow our brothers and sisters, especially the most helpless ones, to struggle to defend the most basic right that we have, the right to life.