My prayer for today

Lord, I don't ask for easy answers. I ask for the courage to grapple with my doubts and uncertainties. I ask for hope to see the shafts of light in the midst of my struggles.

Dancing to God's tune

The first reading of today is one of my favorite Bible verses. It is the "Canticle of love" from 1 Corinthians 13, especially verses 4 to 8. It is really a very beautiful and ideal description of love. It has always been a useful guide for me in verifying my attitudes. And, of course, I always come short.
Today, as I made my reflection on this text, I substituted the word "love" with the word "God", so it goes this way:
God is always patient and kind; God is never jealous; God is not boastful or conceited, God is never rude and never seeks his own advantage, God does not take offence or store up grievances. God does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but finds joy in the truth. God is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes. God does not come to an end.
As I was slowly reading the words, I felt as if I have made a big discovery, that a great gift of insight has been given to me. The true but very familiar expression "God is love" has suddenly acquired a new meaning for me. The words of Saint Paul have helped me to understand at the gut level what it means when I say that "God is love".
Perhaps before using this text from Saint Paul as a way of evaluating my way of loving, I should use it as a way of deepening my understanding of who God is. And God is love, God is patient, God is kind, God is never jealous ... not in an abstract way, but in my regard. Yes, I am the lucky recipient of God's love.
But do I really believe this? Does my life show that the God I believe in does not take offence or store up grievances? Why is it that a lot of times I avoid sin because I am afraid of God's punishment or that somehow if I do not do good I feel uncomfortable because I am not pleasing to His sight?
I guess it is not easy to believe in a God who loves us warts and all, and with a love that is constant. Of course it is not easy to believe because we live in a society where everything is tit-for-tat. We have to deserve the good, we have to work for it. Why is it so difficult for us to accept when something bad happens to good people? It is because deep within we are guided by this belief: reward and punishment.
And this also manifests itself in our relationships. We cannot believe when someone says he or she loves us. In our subconscious we immediately think, what did I do to deserve this, or, what does this person need or hope to get from me? On the other hand, even our seemingly purest motivations could hold a hint of selfishness. There is always something in there for us, whether for self-preservation, self-promotion, etc.
But I will not be discouraged. I have received a very beautiful invitation to experience how wonderful my God is. And He is wonderful not because of me. His love is a love that is not conditioned by anything or anyone because love is God's nature. Perhaps this is the reason why Saint Therese of the Child Jesus became a saint. She just delighted in being the recipient of God's love, without trying to understand whether she deserved it or not.
So today I heed the Gospel invitation of "dancing according to God's tune". The world says that nothing is free in life, that we have to earn everything, that there should be a limit to our trusting and forgiveness ... But my God says that I can rest secure that His love will never end.
And I believe in my God.

Children of God

"Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly ... you will then be children of the Most High, for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked." Luke 6:27-28, 35

It is possible to think well of others, speak well of and to them, and do something good for them when I keep in mind that generosity is God's constant attitude. God doesn't treat me well because I treat Him well. His style is not tit-for-tat; rather, His is pure .gratuity.
It will help me well to remember and believe the truth that I am God's daughter. So I have it in me to be like God. I can be kind, forgiving, magnanimous.

Elusive joy

 Don't begrudge people their happiness. Be like God whose heart is so big everyone can have a place in it. The more you try to make others happy, the more that elusive true joy will come to you.
Joy is playful. It evades you when you want to control it, but it lingers in you when you share it.

A virtual canvas

I was in South Sudan for one week. It was a very enriching experience. So much poverty, but so much resilience on the part of the people. There, where life is simple, I saw the marvels of God's creation: birds with a variety of colors, the sky was like a never-ending canvas of God's creativity.
I admire our Sisters' simplicity and nearness to the people, sharing their fatigues and hopes.
I saw the famous Nile river (Sudan side) when we visited Mori, a small village near Juba. I felt as if I was transported back to the Philippines in its simplest rural towns. Mango trees abounded, goats and chicken running around with the children, women doing their chores, small huts made of mud.
The experience was like a crash course on how to welcome life as I met people with very little or even nothing, but with excited eyes in anticipation of life's surprises.